Dear diary,
Do you have something in your life that you can never tell anyone about: a secret; a memory; an object? You want to keep that thing completely hidden from the eyes and ears of everyone around you; not because you fear what the consequences might be but because you know that they wouldn’t understand. They wouldn’t understand the “why” behind it. You don’t want to tell them the answer to the “why”, probably because you don’t know it yourself. You fear that if you had to articulate your feelings for that thing, you may not be able to do that. You don’t want anyone to pollute your relationship with that object, that memory, that secret, with their lack of understanding. I have something like that. A someone. We met through a quizzing app, out of all the places. “Peter Pan has sent you a challenge”. This was the start of us. From challenging me to a game of colors to challenging my whole idea of something, Peter Pan became a part of me. No one knows about them. No one can understand what they are to me. They can only pretend. Maybe I am pretending, too, to understand what I am to them. As soon as I think I know, they do something, say something, and I go hurtling back to square one. From the first conversation I had with them I knew this was someone I wanted in my life: be it as a formal acquaintance, a mentor of sorts, or a close friend. In the nine months which have passed our relationship underwent a gestation period of its own. It grew to be something I had never experienced before and my Peter Pan not only encapsulated all of the roles I saw them in but they became something much, much more than I could’ve imagined. A smart, wise, old child-that’s my Peter Pan. I have no shame in admitting that they love me far more than I love them. I am blessed to have had the good fortune of meeting them and I am proud to be called theirs.
Wendy